Perspectives !

"Who Am I?" A confused life. Yes - ur mistake is my life & when u fixed; I'm lost, yes, I'm.			:-(
:-)	"Who Am I?" An enlightened life. Yes - my mistake is my life & when u slipped up; I survived.
'Am I mad?' Don’t laugh. Yes, I am. You know why? I'm not in life, not in death. Hanging, waiting for someone to pull up or push me down. I am mad for sure.			:-(
:-)	'Am I mad?' Don’t laugh. Yes, I am. You know why? Because, I must be. Otherwise u wouldn’t hv been part of my life.   Am in life, not in death. Swinging.. Oscillating.. & no desire to come to rest. I am mad for sure.
"R u a joker?" -  shot another. Yes – I am. With the mask to make u laugh, when ur eyes r full. I may look like a mocking face; but better than thousand clicks. One person's craziness is another person's reality. The laughing faces around me hides the unwanted sympathy, the unheard cry, the unsaid words.			:-(
:-)	"U R funny!" -  shot another. Yes – I am. May be its ur ability to look at everything close up. It's not just that u r an optimist; I’ve got both looks & loveliness; dear. My plastic surgeon said, u got to go with a smile. The tragic or the humorous is a matter of perspective. So, take off the mask & start giggling…
"Hey, u just deleted me" No one noticed except me. May be it’s the beginning or... it’s just my vision fading. Someone asked, how’s life in the ‘recycle bin'? ‘Nice’, I said. I don't need the darkness to dream, I don't need the light to ride. It’s an air tight box - I can sleep undisturbed. Forever …			:-(
:-)	Har khel mein hum ho na ho Gardis mein taare rahenge sada, Bhoologe tum bhoolenge woh Par hum tumhare rahenge sada. Rahenge yahin apne nisan, Iss ke sewa jaana kahan.	:-)

Desperate attempt ?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: chitaranjan behera <behera.chitaranjan@gmail.com>

Date: Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 7:56 PM
To: abc <abc@gmail.com>

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I lived up with a feeling - "for me I know she is always with me and for her I know I am always with her".

I used to think, ‘I'll have somebody with me & shall share my laughter with somebody, and share my tears with somebody, wanted to be close to somebody'.

So many things have happened & keep on happening...

But why am I still holding on to tht small piece of hope that I'll wake up one day and see somebody around.

My heart is frozen and mind is blocked ...Am I just a shallow cow? No - now i feel its enogh - Enough is enough !

I just want to be happy without anybody. I'm so dejected and need to see that i never get into any type of relationship and I know I deserve better treatment.

Honestly I don't have any nagging fears that break up might be the wrong thing to do.

How many regrets you will have with me?

At least u'll be happy - and i'll be happy seeing u happy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: abc <abc@gmail.com>
Date: Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 9:44 PM
To: chitaranjan behera <behera.chitaranjan@gmail.com>

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

mera dil bhari ho ra hai.... simply cant say anything...

I wish i had power to explain myself tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

I dnt kno wat I feel. I dnt kno wats in my mind. I wish I cud give wat u want in lieu

 

I CAN'T understand myself & may expect u 2 to do.

if I cud, I cud may b hv explained it to you.

I can not c u trying & failing lyk this..... i kno u try... i kno u do

All ur messages reach me well...

I dnt kno why there is heaven & there is hell...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What Else We Want ? :-)

I'M BACK !

I am rich enough to buy back my past

I am lucky enough to get it fast
They asked me to stay away
But I wanted it all my way
Steering the wheels of certainty
So, I am back and I am happy…

Enjoying Ice candy with nephew & niece

Getting up from bed with a morning kiss
Chasing butterflies and picking up flowers
Playing with blocks and making towers
Gaining childhood life is indeed classy
Of course, I am back and I am happy…

Life is free & budging on the track

Geared up to fly the miles on flash
Right to pick with whom I want to walk & talk
Can set a playlist rocking around the clock
Gone is the summer to prove my variety
No matter what, I am back and I am happy…

The princesses and the songs in rain

Happy endings in fairy tales again
I can start a fresh with no stain
"Do what you love" pops-up again
Dare to dream the desire of paternity
Yes indeed, I am back and I am happy…

Discovered, why BAD is so GOOD

Lasted as long as I could
I know - Changes rolls-in on the panel of dent
BUT - Living for the dream, loving for a moment
STOP !! No more pleas for pity
I am sure, I am back and I am happy…

Story Telling...

9:42PM 18th Feb 2012

She: hello again J

Chitaranjan: hey... hi seems quite busy day..

She: yah! but finishing off pending wrks J.. jst reached delhi is full of traffic ...

Chitaranjan: yeah..i knw u stay in delhi or noida?

She: rikshaw b beech sadak pe chalte hai.. horn maarte raho bande bhi gaadiyo k aage i chalte hai at some places :P ..

Chitaranjan: J thy make ur life challenging; even on roads..

She: yes J WEST delhi..

Chitaranjan: ok i used to stay in RK Puram waise i enjoyed delhi lyf..

She: waise toh i also love this place i love the BHEED actually. J but its good to cribble also K ..

Chitaranjan: hmm.. so u happy ;-) look at me ... not at all often i feel like helpless.. screaming ...shouting.. L

She: SHOUT m listening ;-).. yes ...jor se ..

Chitaranjan: to vent out frustrations..

She: do it J

Chitaranjan: baas ! rehne do u hv come frm tht bheed bhad no more ...

She: nahi wo bheed to muje sunti hi ni m lost...

Chitaranjan: hehehe

She: wht about dinner?

Chitaranjan: hmm ..don't knw.. habbit of skipping L

She: thts not gud to get used to such things..

Chitaranjan: don’t knw gud or bad..

She: At least i dnt feel that one shud b..

Chitaranjan: agree .. but no choice

She: v make choices..

Chitaranjan: anyways let me make some arrangements wait..

She: thats gud.. np..

AFTER 10 Minutes…

Chitaranjan: yes, had something J happy?

She: yup now, u complete ur turn then i'll tell u something to support my comment

Chitaranjan: my turn?..

She: yeah in our last chat i told u few of my incidents its ur turn now..

Chitaranjan: oh i see..

She: n i dnt mind if urs are not as interesting as mine ;-)..

Chitaranjan: let me evoke.. ring a bell //

She: tk ur tym..

Chitaranjan: okie …. now i m under pressure hmm…….. real pressure J..

She: :D our true self comes out wen v wrk under pressure ;-)..

Chitaranjan: hmmm.. ur story was more genuine.. reflecting ur natural behavior..

She: hmmm..

Chitaranjan: let me share something in the similar line tht reflects me …

She: i believe everyone has some natural behavior.. yea, its jst that I hv some impressions about u… rest will b made wen u tel me abt urself J

Chitaranjan: ok J

She: yes u can proceed J..

Chitaranjan: ok let me tell u a very recent incident..

She: Yes

Chitaranjan: a story of yesterday don’t knw u wld like ths or not anyways ... i was having a bad day yesterday..

She: i like anything/everything :P remember always J..

Chitaranjan: ok baba.. J so wht I was saying.. yes - a very bad day.. was very upset went to a coffee shop..

She: so wat bad waise?

Chitaranjan: shall tell u later ..let me complete the story

She: ok..

Chitaranjan: ok i ordered a sandwich & a cup of coffee

She: k..

Chitaranjan: a girl back in the counter.. was making sandwich..

She: k..

Chitaranjan: somehow I felt like.. she was also looked very down..clumsy .. like me

She: ok

Chitaranjan: u knw mayonaise ?..

She: ya..

Chitaranjan: it was spilling over..

She: ok..

Chitaranjan: i cld understand her state of mind

She: ok..

Chitaranjan: cldn't stop myself with lot of guts went to her & said 'we all hv days like ths ..its ok' she looked at me..

She: k..

Chitaranjan: thn I said u knw - “u’ve got a FACE for smile”.. hmmm... thn she smiled J

She: so sweet..

Chitaranjan: and thn i also smiled..

She: lovely..

Chitaranjan: she reciprocated with ‘hey young man ! u also hv got a good smile'

She: then?..

Chitaranjan: i said “tnx .. tomorrow it will be a better one J”

She: tht was gr8 dialog..

Chitaranjan: J yes i knw.. thn i could see an expression in her face tht was willing to describe something.. it was indeed worth noticing..

She: and a moment worth cherishing..

Chitaranjan: yes - now she opened up and passed a better smile J

Chitaranjan: i waited for few minutes she served me sandwich and while handing over to me she said “tnx .. it was indeed needed..”

She: how sweet..

Chitaranjan: thn i left tht place - not sure if i'll get a chance to go thr even if i go - not sure if i can meet her again..

She: hmmm ths happens..

Chitaranjan: even if i meet her - not sure she will recognize me..

She: hmm..

Chitaranjan: but YES I realized that “we get distracted easily by others ..also fact is, sometimes in order to heal urself u need to reach out to someone else..." ths is how I can summarize ths story ths is wht i hv posted today in my FB ..not sure how many could relate to ths J

… … … and the chat continued…