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I remember – one weekend I started my day with a photograph. A photograph;
telling me that ONLY the photograph belongs to me. Though it did not say where
or when – but I am not unaware. I know it was some time in the afternoon time when
we all were enjoying each others company. No self-possessiveness, no
boundaries. The 'where' / 'when' doesn't matter to me. What matters to me now
is 'the character'. The character is no more with me. At least that's what I
could think of that day. I found an easy way out. Not facing the situation, not
dealing with the issues, added a 'pause' into life. Good for both (?). She
wouldn't have to deal with my millions of questions. She has opted to stay away,
somewhere far away, let her. Perhaps somewhere better.
For the next few days, I stayed at home. I kept staring at that photograph, thinking that perhaps I am just over-reading the situation. If I just read/feel it one more time, I will get a different meaning out of it, and will realize how silly I am to have misunderstood that we are not together. But that didn't happen no matter how many times I tried. Some things really aren't in our control. What's done is done. Some things we just have to live no matter how much pain it causes. Some choices/events we must accept.
Yet, a part of me still thinks that if I go back enough to the past, I will somehow magically change the situation. That too will change soon enough. Perhaps, some day I won't look at it at all. Perhaps someday I will forget about the photograph and it's character too. BUT - Today is not that day.
For the next few days, I stayed at home. I kept staring at that photograph, thinking that perhaps I am just over-reading the situation. If I just read/feel it one more time, I will get a different meaning out of it, and will realize how silly I am to have misunderstood that we are not together. But that didn't happen no matter how many times I tried. Some things really aren't in our control. What's done is done. Some things we just have to live no matter how much pain it causes. Some choices/events we must accept.
Yet, a part of me still thinks that if I go back enough to the past, I will somehow magically change the situation. That too will change soon enough. Perhaps, some day I won't look at it at all. Perhaps someday I will forget about the photograph and it's character too. BUT - Today is not that day.
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